Sunday, August 8, 2010

Lazy Sunday in Idaho

I came up on Friday to visit my Dad as he turned 76 this week. We’re taking him out tonight to celebrate and I couldn’t be happier. However, to my Dad, it’s just another year, which makes me very sad.

I read an article once about how an older man had cared for his wife until the end and it made me cry. What really made me cry was to realize that article could have been written about my father. I’ll relate a little of the story here.

My parents married when they were fairly young and lived in a small Ohio town where they raised their children, me and my brother, until 1969 when they moved us to the southwest and Sin City. My parents did everything together and a day didn’t go by without them saying they loved one another. Yeah, living with my parents was hard at times but I always knew they loved us.

Fast forward to when my mother turned 53 and Dad 58. They were going to retire but Mom had been having issues for a few years. Lots of memory problems and I knew where that one was headed. She asked me once if I thought she was going crazy and all I could say was I knew she was ill. They had it confirmed when she was 53...Alzheimer’s...and medicine she couldn’t take. My father dug in for the long haul and cared for her until her death in 2005. He was then and still now, my hero. If you ever read a book called The Dragon’s Lady in the near future about a dragon named Alfred, you’ll know that’s for my Dad.

That same year my mother died, Dad fell in love with a wonderful woman who loved to travel and hanging out with him. I didn’t know Patti well but the very fact she made my Dad happy after the experience with my mother, made me joyous. Unfortunately, she had a reoccurrence of her cancer and died August of the same year as my mother.

Dad was devastated and I didn’t know how to help him at all. I would have taken all his pain away if I could. I would have done it for him but I couldn’t. He stayed here in Nevada for another year and a half before he pulled up stakes and moved to Idaho to be near my brother. We helped him buy a home there and try to get to visit him as much as we can. The pictures are from our various travels there. It’s cool and green and I like it to a point. The mountains are much too far in my opinion so I could never live where he does, but I could live close. LOL!

We’ve had a great visit so far and hope to have many more! Have you talked to your parent(s) today? If not, make the’ll do wonders for your heart...have a great day!

See you all tomorrow!


1 comment:

  1. Hey Lynn,
    I'm sitting here with tears. Losing your Mom after devoting himself to her and then finding someone to care for and lose again in the same year, just traumatizing to the soul.There isn't much anyone can do except let the person know they are loved and will be there for them.After 54 years of marriage my Mom passed away completely unexpected. My Father really lived just for my Mom. It was horrible to see him that day because he found her in bed. He just laid across her body crying and asking "How could you leave me ". Terrible. Now it's 10 years later and still he goes to the cemetery everyday. But he's surrounded with his children, grandchildren and great grand children everyday. But you can see he's just going through the motions of living.
    Thanks Lynn for sharing. Wonderful that you got to go and see your dead.
    Carol L.