Well, I finally did it.
Between the packing and insomnia and just general blahs, I’ve hurt my back.
When I twist it funny, I usually turn introspective and think about what I
should be, could be and want to be doing. Anything other than the pain.
But writing can be a painful
experience not unlike a back ache and it makes me wonder why so many people continue
if it is that painful. Sure, getting the voices out of your head and on screen
or paper is the best way to come to grips with the writer in you but if it’s
downright painful…nah…I don’t get it.
Yeah, I get the part that the
plot needs to be just so and that the grammar Nazis might be out to get you.
Yes, you want everything perfect but at what price? Yes, writing is my life but
my life is rich and full and so much more than I ever expected when I was
twelve and started on this journey. I’ve also learned nothing is perfect as
perfection is an illusion slung by those who feel they are perfect. Pity them
as they miss out on so much with their search and illusion of perfection. I
repeat, nothing is perfect. Right now, the height of perfection to me is
getting the words down on that screen during this chaotic period in my life.
Editing will come later. Submission will come later as will publication.
So no, I don’t see these down
times as bad per se but more enlightening. If I’m not writing or sitting in my
chair every waking moment, I’m studying through a variety of online classes,
movies and TV series. With my current back ache, I can’t stand to be in bed too
long as it makes my back hurt more but I can’t walk much either. There are some
times when I can’t sit up for long periods and all I can do is be in bed. I’m
happy that this time I’m up more than I’m down.
The one thing I can’t control
however is my wandering mind. Pain does that to me and the main thing it hurts
is my focus. And in writing, focus is everything. One must focus on their story
in order to get it down and as correct as possible. One must love their story
and nurture it from cradle to grave and beyond. It is why writers’ write.
When focus is just beyond my
reach, I don’t let my mind flounder and figure out ways to make me miserable,
yes writers have that wonderful knack for doing just that. I find ways to
expand my mind. And like many writers, I binge on TV series. For the last few
months, whenever I’ve had insomnia, I watched NCIS from the start to the current season.
And all I can say is wow. Wow
because I can’t believe I missed an awesome series all these years but watching
those character arcs as well as the storylines themselves is a chance to learn
about characterization. The setting is pretty much the same and there are very
few episodes when it comes into play. When it does, it changes the whole
schematic of the series but I digress.
Watching the characters’ grow
is something I can’t always get from a writing craft book as I’m a visual
person. See things on the screen and suddenly, I get some portion of character
building that I didn’t get before. It helps me on so many different levels as my books
are all about the characters. Sure setting and plot are there too but they all
enhance the characters. Having character driven plots is brought home in a
weekly series. Alas, now I have to find another series I can learn something
from to watch.
I forgot my love of TV being
here in Europe for the past 5 years. My husband could never understand why I
liked to watch TV and while here, I got why he didn’t so even though we have
cable, it’s rarely watched and just part of my internet package. However, over
here, I realized that by not watching TV, I’m not as creative as I once was and
that bums me out horribly. I think I’ve always known that as I love to go to the
movies, have a DVR night at home with my youngest who’s an actor and all those
things that stimulated me.
I’ve always said that you can
find an idea anywhere and it’s so very true. I still can take a walk, come back
and write down at least three to five ideas for a story. Years ago, I would
have taken at least half of them to develop. Now, I’m lucky if I find one that
makes me see the story when it takes me. And it’s all because I haven’t been poked and
prodded through outside stimuli as before.
If nothing else, that is what
I’m looking forward to…a rousing time with my writer friends, family and more…as
well as being back fully on the writer’s train. Imperfections and all. And I’ll
remember this year, it will be all about me and my writing. See you all next
week. Until then…
Lynn
Im trying to find ways to keep inspired myself
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