I have been in writer’s hell. And no, it isn’t about the writing either.
We finally get to go home and while it’s sad for my husband, I’m in heaven in so many ways. Now don’t get me wrong as I am sad to be leaving my fabulous flat with the horrid location and the many friends I’ve finally made here. For me, it means that I can finally concentrate on my career with my goals.
See, when I’m in the States, I can do that easily as there is very little time I have to spend on my husband’s things. Here, it’s been all about him and while he doesn’t see it that way, it’s just the way it is. I’ve had to deal with things over here that I would have never had to deal about at home.
I mean, I don’t have to file health insurance claims because those are all done automatically in the US. Here, because we have private insurance, it has been my job to get all those things together and file them. Here, I have to remind the husband to not forget our train tickets so we can get around. At home, if I use his car, I fill it up with gas and we’re good.
There are so many no-brainer things that must be done here that it’s driven me crazy the whole time we’ve lived here. I’m constantly sending the DH lists on what to get at the commissary. Or remind him that we need things from the pharmacy. At home, I can just go pick them up myself. Here there is a total reliance on each other to do what the other asks that it can be…well…disconcerting. I hate being separated by the language thing and though many would say that it’s my fault, I was already learning a language when I arrived and didn’t want to add to that confusion.
So, we’re finally getting ready to go home and I have deadlines I need to meet before we leave. I am also the coordinator of all things travel, this includes coming up with the ways to get between places as well as lodging that can include a pet and other considerations. Again, not that it’s rocket science or anything but I already had my own deadlines and now I have our deadlines. And our deadlines have put me into a writer’s hell.
Why you may ask. Well…first, it makes me stressed and I’m not sleeping…then I’m thinking too much of all the things that can go wrong. Yes, yes, I know I can do it all but it has just hyped my stress level out of this world.
However, that being said, I am also finding my solace in writing. Meaning, I’m producing a lot and some of it isn’t as good as I want it to be. I guess I’ll be editing lots more.
But that’s okay…at least I’m writing.
See you all next week. Until then…