This one is from my book, The Harvester, published in June of 2012. Hope you enjoy!
She licked her
lips in anticipation of what might happen, of what she wanted to happen. They
had been in their dressing room when she took them, so both had light robes on
over their kilts. She pushed the fabric out of the way and ran her fingers down
Jax’s firm abdomen. He had a very light smattering of hair, not quite
noticeable whereas Zane was hairless but his body was just as muscular.
Boldness took hold of Sky and she wanted to
touch them more, to fondle their packages just as if she had been a real
Harvester again. Part of the job was to insure everything was in proper order.
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Lynn
You're coming along nicely in your story and you have a very interesting concept. There are a couple things I'd like to suggest: first, having your harvester use the word 'package' is kind of like having her call it a 'thingy'. It kind of robs her of a shade of credibility and you don't want to do that with such a strong character. And second, 'insure' is the wrong word. I believe you want 'ensure'. Again, these are my opinions and you as the author have every right to discard them as such.
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